These have been days that have tried my patience and virtually exhausted my goodwill toward my children. I have attempted to teach perseverance when I have been on the verge of giving up, myself. I have longed to model strong character and kindness while my head felt like it was going to explode. My soul feels tapped out while I attempt to fill my boys with hard work and integrity. Or maybe just math equations and a turkey sandwich.
I particularly feel the pressure of all this as I just returned from the 2014 Hearts at Home event, a Christian conference for mothers, with authors and speakers providing sessions on parenting, faith and family issues. I shared this time with some amazing women from my church family, so it seems a significant blow to return to poor attitudes and complaining among my own children. What did I expect? My children would be miraculously perfected upon my return from Illinois? I would be transformed into such a gracious parent that my children would want to obey my every request…even before I verbalize it?
My children still have the same weaknesses. And so do I.
I am tired. Physically sometimes. Often emotionally. Home schooling is difficult, and I am frequently perplexed why I am surprised by this. Not every day is draining, but these lately have been. Thank goodness He sees me and gives me grace, and the energy I never thought I could muster.
“To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name…
Why do you complain…Why do you say, Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:25-31